Well, a very recent conversation with a female friend made me restless for a few days. As per her allegation, I am probably a bit biased against many women. What made me really restless was that during my argument with her in our brief conversation, I was sure that I was fighting for equal rights for men. Now I personally am against every kind of differentiation and this thought actually had more effect on me that I thought during the course of the discussion. While this may sound really odd, coming from a male member of a supposedly patriarchal society, I somehow was convinced that the times and tide has changed, after conversing with my fellow sufferers. A major reason for this could be the increasingly disadvantageous sex ratio for our gender, as recorded by the census.
Now, my major contention with her was that I argued that “most women prefer that their husbands should have a extremely good career and yet he should contribute equally to what her responsibilities in the house hold activities”, as being unfair. My contention was if the husband was the major bread earner, then in all probability that his responsibilities in office would be much higher than his better half, and thus it would be not be fair to expect him to share house hold job responsibilities with the wife EQUALLY, and there was a need to recognize his other contributions in the welfare of the family. However, given that we live in a evolving patriarchal society, such a statement would invite wrath from my female counterparts as expected.
Thus my friend argued that the times have seriously changed now and women are have actually made their presence felt in professional spheres (which I agree to, and support) and are now having similar potential, career wise, as their male counterparts.
Since this was an issue related to marriage, what best place to actually search for data than BengaliMatrimony, the website which brings men and women together in arranged marriages. Although such a sample is inadvertendly biased to an extent, I thought it would at least provide an indication of the partner preferences of the modern bengali women.
So I started an advanced search in the website for all the ladies in the age group of 21 to 28, unmarried, having educational qualification of graduate and above, residing in Kolkata and having a castebackground of Brahmins, Kayasthyas Khsatriyas and Vaidyas, and had their photos in their profile. The search returned 1148 results, of which 442 were not working(or are studying) and 706 ladies were working. Of the ladies who were working, 242 were in the income category of less than 1 Lakh INR of annual income, 293 ladies were earning from 1-2 Lakh INR, 128 ladies were earning 2-5 INR, 41 ladies were earning 5-10 Lakh INR, and 2 ladies were earning above 10Lakhs INR.
What was interesting to note that in their partner preferences, amongst all these working and non-working women, the count of women expecting that the groom should have a salary at least 4 times their own current salary (or above 6 lakh INR for the non-working women) was 666 or 58%. 32% or 367 ladies wanted a groom with a salary expectation of 2-4 times their own salary. Only 10% or 115 ladies had not mentioned the salary expectations from their partner, out of which 94 had not set any partner expectations, and thus their profiles could be considered incomplete. Only 13 ladies (all of who who were earning more than 8 lakh INR) had a partner expectation of a salary of 20 lakh or above, which in terms of sheer percentage, exceeds 200% their own annual income.
Now, amongst the 442 women who were not working, 242 were engaged in higher education and 200 have completed their education and were not working. Out of the latter group (Education completed and not working), 168were graduates and 42 were post-graduates. 70% of this segment (442) wanted apartner with an income of 8 Lakhs and above and 10% wanted a partner with an income of 10 lakhs and above. Of the women pursuing/completed post-graduation / Engineering / professional courses, 60 women had a preference for a partner earning more than 12 Lakh INR, 128 women wanted a partner with a salary of above 8 Lakh INR and only 26 women had a partner preference in terms of income below 6 Lakh INR. 30 women had not set their partner preferences. This was coming from a segment who are yet to start earning and thus yet to realize the practical hazards associated with even a low paying job.
What was surprising was that many women considered themselves “Brilliant as a student”, “highly qualified”, with “highly professional background” and yet had no jobs even in the age category of 24-26 after completion of their education or even did not manage to complete their post-graduation. Even the women with jobs where annual earning was less than 1 Lakh INR, considered themselves extremely “careerist” and wanted a husband who would support their ‘blossoming’ career with a pay-package of above 8 Lakhs INR. I would definitely not like to comment on their self perceptions when it came to external attributes, as compared to reality. These kind of attracted my attention since I am not a strong fan of narcissism.
Please note that I am definitely not against women working to unlock their true potential.
But today, few of these women need to recognize that if the burden of expectation was so much on the man to earn and provide for a luxurious living, why is it wrong for a man to expect that his partner would contribute more on the family management front? If your expectations from your partner in terms of earning potential was a few multiple of your own salary,how does one equate that to having equal job responsibilities in the career,and thus should share equal responsibilities in home also? If marriages are about equality, how are such partner expectation a reflection of equality in terms of providing overall resources for the welfare of the family?
By no means I am advocating that men don’t need to be concerned about house hold activities, they definitely do. I am strongly against the gender-job role biases in our society also.
I am only a strong advocate of true equality of all, and investment of comparable resources for the welfare of the family where both the partners have equal stakes.
Thus this amazingly stupid piece of research on which I spent 3 sleepless nights.
Some Idiots says, "Behind every successful man, there is a woman". But nobody wants to admit openly the fact that "Women prefer to go for the successful men only, given a choice". An article that came out later presented somewhat close views http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/man-woman/Men-go-for-looks-women-profession/articleshow/6335911.cms
Showing posts with label Musings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Musings. Show all posts
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Bengali Men : A competetive analysis
For some days, I was wondering how I was faring against the world in global competitive markets with other bengali men. I started to do a bit of research in bengali matrimony site, once again, this time focusing on men.
I searched with the following criteria: Male, 25 yrs to 35 yrs, Height 5Ft 0in to 6Ft 6in , Unmarried, Religion: Hindu, Caste: Any, Physical Status: Doesn't matter, Country: Any, Resident status: Any, Education: Any, Occupation: Any, Annual income: Rs.12 Lakh to Rs.1 Crore, Horoscope: Any, Eating habits: All, Drinking habits: All, Smoking habits: All.
The search showed me 901 results (surprisingly not so small after all)
A deeper analysis revealed the following interesting trends.
Caste wise break-up: Kayastha (482), Brahmin(19), Baidya (64), Kshatriyas (120), Mahisya(87) and other castes(Caste no bar) (129).
Locationwise break up: India ( 40 only ) United States of America (327), United Kingdom (47), Europe (126), Australia(220), others (133). Almost 95% (if not more) of the population in US was made up of IT professionals at client location. Almost similar results were available for those in Australia, but the population pursuing higher education was slightly higher.
Profession wise break up: Bachelors in Engineering (254), MS/MTech(120), MBAs(190), Bachelors (120).
Amongst the engineers, there were mostly Information Technology professionals working abroad at a Client Side stint and thus earning in Dollars. Amongst the bachelors, more than 90% were professionals managing their family businesses. Management professionals were mostly from the top 20 B-Schools and maximum had an age profile of over 28-35. Engineers with MS or MTech degrees were mostly working at the client site (82%) and the rest (18%) were pursuing higher education. There were a total of 32 students pursuing PhDs and out of that 5 were in Management , 14 were in engineering, 13 being in general streams. Only 27 men had resident status in USA, UK and Australia put together. Interesting to note was that there were only 4 doctors in this income category, despite being such a revered profession.
An issue to deliberate a bit may be the fact that at least 95% of the IT engineers and professionals enjoying a stint abroad are more likely to return to India, once their projects were completed abroad, and have a very different earning potential and life-style than they are enjoying currently, since most of them are in the IT services industry and not in IT products industry.
An earning equivalent to above Rs. 12 Lakh in foreign currency (say 50,000 USD) did not account for the Purchasing Power Parity of the country and evidently raw economic conversion was done in Indian Rupees in most cases. Now, a decent engineer in the USA earns close to 50,000 USD (pretax) annually. 50,000 USD was calculated as 22.5 Lakhs INR where as in real monetary terms, it was equivalent to 5 Lakhs INR, after accounting for Purchasing Power Parity. So when these men returned from abroad after completion of their onsite projects, their actual income in India dipped back to 5-6 Lakh INR. While clearly job profile and salary was a crucial determinant of selection of grooms, this issue surely should draw more attention than is actually doing.
Lifestyle / Habits:
Non Vegetarian (839), Vegetarian (26), Not Specified (26)
Non-smoker (603), Light / Social smoker (170), Regular smoker (114).
Non-drinker (485), Light / Social drinker (376), Not Specified (22)
Interesting trends. I leave it to your judgement to do further analysis and grasp meaning out of this data.
I searched with the following criteria: Male, 25 yrs to 35 yrs, Height 5Ft 0in to 6Ft 6in , Unmarried, Religion: Hindu, Caste: Any, Physical Status: Doesn't matter, Country: Any, Resident status: Any, Education: Any, Occupation: Any, Annual income: Rs.12 Lakh to Rs.1 Crore, Horoscope: Any, Eating habits: All, Drinking habits: All, Smoking habits: All.
The search showed me 901 results (surprisingly not so small after all)
A deeper analysis revealed the following interesting trends.
Caste wise break-up: Kayastha (482), Brahmin(19), Baidya (64), Kshatriyas (120), Mahisya(87) and other castes(Caste no bar) (129).
Locationwise break up: India ( 40 only ) United States of America (327), United Kingdom (47), Europe (126), Australia(220), others (133). Almost 95% (if not more) of the population in US was made up of IT professionals at client location. Almost similar results were available for those in Australia, but the population pursuing higher education was slightly higher.
Profession wise break up: Bachelors in Engineering (254), MS/MTech(120), MBAs(190), Bachelors (120).
Amongst the engineers, there were mostly Information Technology professionals working abroad at a Client Side stint and thus earning in Dollars. Amongst the bachelors, more than 90% were professionals managing their family businesses. Management professionals were mostly from the top 20 B-Schools and maximum had an age profile of over 28-35. Engineers with MS or MTech degrees were mostly working at the client site (82%) and the rest (18%) were pursuing higher education. There were a total of 32 students pursuing PhDs and out of that 5 were in Management , 14 were in engineering, 13 being in general streams. Only 27 men had resident status in USA, UK and Australia put together. Interesting to note was that there were only 4 doctors in this income category, despite being such a revered profession.
An issue to deliberate a bit may be the fact that at least 95% of the IT engineers and professionals enjoying a stint abroad are more likely to return to India, once their projects were completed abroad, and have a very different earning potential and life-style than they are enjoying currently, since most of them are in the IT services industry and not in IT products industry.
An earning equivalent to above Rs. 12 Lakh in foreign currency (say 50,000 USD) did not account for the Purchasing Power Parity of the country and evidently raw economic conversion was done in Indian Rupees in most cases. Now, a decent engineer in the USA earns close to 50,000 USD (pretax) annually. 50,000 USD was calculated as 22.5 Lakhs INR where as in real monetary terms, it was equivalent to 5 Lakhs INR, after accounting for Purchasing Power Parity. So when these men returned from abroad after completion of their onsite projects, their actual income in India dipped back to 5-6 Lakh INR. While clearly job profile and salary was a crucial determinant of selection of grooms, this issue surely should draw more attention than is actually doing.
Lifestyle / Habits:
Non Vegetarian (839), Vegetarian (26), Not Specified (26)
Non-smoker (603), Light / Social smoker (170), Regular smoker (114).
Non-drinker (485), Light / Social drinker (376), Not Specified (22)
Interesting trends. I leave it to your judgement to do further analysis and grasp meaning out of this data.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Aqua mania: When fashion meets passion.
One such fish, the Flowerhorn, represents a class of its own. Flowerhorns are ornamental aquarium fish noted for their vivid colors and the distinctively shaped heads for which they are named. This fish does not exist in nature but it is a hybrid result of various cross-breeding of South America cichlids. Flowerhorn breeding dates from 1993, in Malaysia. The fish has a hump known as “Kok” on its forehead, similar to the forehead of the Chinese God of Longevity.
Maintaining the perfect water conditions (filtration, aeration, Ph level, temperature) become crucial to bring out the beauty in the fish.Of course, not only care, but genes also play a huge role in the beauty of the fish, especially in the beauty of its Kok. The overall beauty of the fish can create an adult(12-15 inch) with a price tag of Rs. 20,000 to over a Lakh while quality juveniles (1-2 inch) are available for around Rs.1000. Males being more beautiful, are costlier.
ENTALLY FANCY FISH EMPORIUM
P-48, C.I.T Road, Schm 52, Kolktata - 700 014
Phone: (033)2244-3398
HOBBY CENTRE
58/1N/1C RAJA Dinendra Street, Kolkata 700006.
Phone : 23509354
AQUARIUMS INDIA
Belilious Road, Howrah 711 101
Phone : +919230822854 / 98315 555411
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 India License.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
From Jamshedpur to Howrah: A mixed experence..
Traveling long distance by train was one of the most enjoyable modes of transportation in India. But that was before I got aquainted with the local versions of the royalty, which I did during my not so brief stay at XLRI Jamshedpur.
Once you get over the initial hurdles of getting a reserved seat or squeeze yourself in through the crowded doors as the train slowly rolls in to the platform or the frantic attempts to manage the porter and the family, the journey becomes much easy and enjoyable. Overnight train rides are better in this context snce the crowd is comparatively much lesser in "density" and you need not fight to manage a seat to doze off, but the challenge is that you also need to keep an eye on your luggage and belongings to protect them from the “highly friendly” co-passengers around you.
Most of this uneventful journey, I keep my attention encaptured in an action movie, played on my laptop and if I am lucky, a large pack of snacks like Kurkure or Lays. This is despite the dissapproving glaces from the senior citizens around me who claim that the only thing today's youth is capable of doing is spending valuable time on the "devlish" laptop, without trying anything constructive. Of course, today, the Indian economy is booming thanks to the generation that believes we are systematically ruining the nation. Little do they realize that our "always busy with nothing to do" schedule is such that for even to do anything constructive, we are forced to use the lean mean machine, to unleash our prejudiced meladramatic virtual selves in the worlds of Orkut and Facebook. Such is the dichotomy in the minds of Indian citizens. Again, given my non-existent disposition in this country, I can barely make a difference to the ideas that flow amongst the super-learned senior citizens in this country, so I continue to be engrossed in my planet wonder.
If you were unlucky enough of not having a proper reservation, as I often do, then your plight can only be imagined by those who took that journey. However, once you are settled in your seats or berths, temptations start knocking on your senses as the aroma of hot food attracts your attention along with the loud marketing attempts by the food vendors on the station.
Later, as the train crosses Kharagpur, we have to be consoled only with the food offered by the railway caterers which looked and smelled tempting but are barely tasty. Still, we wait eagerly for the moment when the uniformed caterers brought in those food trays with holes and slots filled with omlette, french fries, and fish fries. Often we are forced to carry better food with us like home-made delicacies, but only if we are blessed, which again, I am not. So I continue my uneventful journey staring at my laptop, passing occassional glances if I find anything tasty, for the tastebuds or for my sore eyes.
Another feature of this specific route was that most regulars hardly ever buy any tickets for their travel. After traveling few times, they all knew each and every Ticket Collector (TTs) and they had symbiotic relationship with them which reduced travel budgets significantly. In fact it was a disgrace for a young guy to travel with a train ticket as one of my co-passengers once explained to me. When he displayed his ticket to the TT on board, the disappointed official once had scolded him citing that a young guy like him should have been more adventurous.
I really appreciate our railway minister Mr. Lallu Prasad Yadav. It must have been a real challenge for him to make the railways profitable by collecting the proper fare from each and every passenger. However, he must have killed the adventurous spirit of the youth in this process, thus affecting the very spirit of mother India.
Thus ends my eventful journey from Jamshedpur to Kolkata. The deviation from the rather standardized process, is as rare as Mallika Sherawat donning a traditional saree without a reveal-all objective. Then all said and done, this I guess is expected of a public transport given the stage of development of our economy and the booming population.
Once you get over the initial hurdles of getting a reserved seat or squeeze yourself in through the crowded doors as the train slowly rolls in to the platform or the frantic attempts to manage the porter and the family, the journey becomes much easy and enjoyable. Overnight train rides are better in this context snce the crowd is comparatively much lesser in "density" and you need not fight to manage a seat to doze off, but the challenge is that you also need to keep an eye on your luggage and belongings to protect them from the “highly friendly” co-passengers around you.
Most of this uneventful journey, I keep my attention encaptured in an action movie, played on my laptop and if I am lucky, a large pack of snacks like Kurkure or Lays. This is despite the dissapproving glaces from the senior citizens around me who claim that the only thing today's youth is capable of doing is spending valuable time on the "devlish" laptop, without trying anything constructive. Of course, today, the Indian economy is booming thanks to the generation that believes we are systematically ruining the nation. Little do they realize that our "always busy with nothing to do" schedule is such that for even to do anything constructive, we are forced to use the lean mean machine, to unleash our prejudiced meladramatic virtual selves in the worlds of Orkut and Facebook. Such is the dichotomy in the minds of Indian citizens. Again, given my non-existent disposition in this country, I can barely make a difference to the ideas that flow amongst the super-learned senior citizens in this country, so I continue to be engrossed in my planet wonder.
If you were unlucky enough of not having a proper reservation, as I often do, then your plight can only be imagined by those who took that journey. However, once you are settled in your seats or berths, temptations start knocking on your senses as the aroma of hot food attracts your attention along with the loud marketing attempts by the food vendors on the station.
Later, as the train crosses Kharagpur, we have to be consoled only with the food offered by the railway caterers which looked and smelled tempting but are barely tasty. Still, we wait eagerly for the moment when the uniformed caterers brought in those food trays with holes and slots filled with omlette, french fries, and fish fries. Often we are forced to carry better food with us like home-made delicacies, but only if we are blessed, which again, I am not. So I continue my uneventful journey staring at my laptop, passing occassional glances if I find anything tasty, for the tastebuds or for my sore eyes.
Another feature of this specific route was that most regulars hardly ever buy any tickets for their travel. After traveling few times, they all knew each and every Ticket Collector (TTs) and they had symbiotic relationship with them which reduced travel budgets significantly. In fact it was a disgrace for a young guy to travel with a train ticket as one of my co-passengers once explained to me. When he displayed his ticket to the TT on board, the disappointed official once had scolded him citing that a young guy like him should have been more adventurous.
I really appreciate our railway minister Mr. Lallu Prasad Yadav. It must have been a real challenge for him to make the railways profitable by collecting the proper fare from each and every passenger. However, he must have killed the adventurous spirit of the youth in this process, thus affecting the very spirit of mother India.
Thus ends my eventful journey from Jamshedpur to Kolkata. The deviation from the rather standardized process, is as rare as Mallika Sherawat donning a traditional saree without a reveal-all objective. Then all said and done, this I guess is expected of a public transport given the stage of development of our economy and the booming population.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
"Honeymoon Travels" to "Alice in Wonderland"
I, watched "Honeymoon Travels" today...
The movie is, I have to admit, not that special. But there was something that made it special last night.. I was visited by the princess of my dreams after that, and we watched another movie yesterday..one that was made special, thanks to the eyes that made me feel special..made me the prince charming that I always wanted to be, but could not, due to other ongoing engagements..
I still fail to fathom whether it was reality, or am I still lost in dreamland?
The journey through dreamland started at Hongkong, and little did I know that it would culminate into the climax that it did. The dream that followed was the very embodiment of every graceful fancy I ever dreamt about.. Every time our eyes met, I was lost in their timeless beauty.. I, seemed to have developed amnesia. Forsyth could not have described Sigi more aptly, as I started appreciating the grace of the womanhood unfolding before my humble eyes. I started to develop wobbly legs, and don't know if it was an international conspiracy or otherwise, so did my chair. Thus I was left wondering, groping in the dark. Then she helped me to stand amidst all the turbulence that surrounded our ecstatic existence.. to allow me explore dreamland.. and I, worshiping the beau, fell once more in love with the pagan beauty.. The sounds of Darwin followed me in my dreams and Follet's liberal play with words sounded like Christmas bells in my ears.. Cupid's arrows started raining like "cats & dogs", and I started to comprehend the wisdom and the significance of the phrase in its true literary spirit..
We all need memories to survive in this ruthless world, this will remain one of the priceless ones.. one that will make this last term @ XL, so special.. .
The bells of Christmas rang true with the colors of the season.
The only desire I have now is to break away from these tormenting classes that chain me with this planet governed by Freakonomics.. to show her the land from which I hail... To feel her vibes with mine, in my homeland...the city of joy...
The warmth of love can rejuvenate everyone on this planet wonder. And I, being a mere mortal, am susceptible to the message so aptly delivered by Christ.
Love and be loved.
Merry Christmas.
And may peace be with you..
ps: I am only the representative of a phenomenon, and not reality as such.. :-)
The movie is, I have to admit, not that special. But there was something that made it special last night.. I was visited by the princess of my dreams after that, and we watched another movie yesterday..one that was made special, thanks to the eyes that made me feel special..made me the prince charming that I always wanted to be, but could not, due to other ongoing engagements..
I still fail to fathom whether it was reality, or am I still lost in dreamland?
The journey through dreamland started at Hongkong, and little did I know that it would culminate into the climax that it did. The dream that followed was the very embodiment of every graceful fancy I ever dreamt about.. Every time our eyes met, I was lost in their timeless beauty.. I, seemed to have developed amnesia. Forsyth could not have described Sigi more aptly, as I started appreciating the grace of the womanhood unfolding before my humble eyes. I started to develop wobbly legs, and don't know if it was an international conspiracy or otherwise, so did my chair. Thus I was left wondering, groping in the dark. Then she helped me to stand amidst all the turbulence that surrounded our ecstatic existence.. to allow me explore dreamland.. and I, worshiping the beau, fell once more in love with the pagan beauty.. The sounds of Darwin followed me in my dreams and Follet's liberal play with words sounded like Christmas bells in my ears.. Cupid's arrows started raining like "cats & dogs", and I started to comprehend the wisdom and the significance of the phrase in its true literary spirit..
We all need memories to survive in this ruthless world, this will remain one of the priceless ones.. one that will make this last term @ XL, so special.. .
The bells of Christmas rang true with the colors of the season.
The only desire I have now is to break away from these tormenting classes that chain me with this planet governed by Freakonomics.. to show her the land from which I hail... To feel her vibes with mine, in my homeland...the city of joy...
The warmth of love can rejuvenate everyone on this planet wonder. And I, being a mere mortal, am susceptible to the message so aptly delivered by Christ.
Love and be loved.
Merry Christmas.
And may peace be with you..
ps: I am only the representative of a phenomenon, and not reality as such.. :-)
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
A comedy of errors
I will tell you a story today, a story that had many characters, tom, dick, harry, tick & joe, and many more..
Not really though, there were actually only two protagonists (2 protagonists???), tom and joe. They were two insignificant(and hence the names in lower cases) and contrasting personalities on this planet wonder that provides us with so many varieties amongst each species.
It was during a certain time that friends come together in a certain campus to study business. The "hilarious" comedy that followed arises from a simple issue, that people fail to understand what exactly is personal business unless the joke's on them.
Tom, dick, harry, tick & joe are still great friends, in spite of what traverses between them often, make no mistake about that, and they will stand for each other, in the times of need.. [ :-)]
It all started when "famous 5" slowly got to know each other, just after coming to the campus. What started as a fun filled session on teasing tom, about his platonic relationship with his fiancee, turned out to be a little more private, when certain issues that are strictly sensitive issues, were made fun of. Still tom appeared calm, and soon, the name "intellectual intercourse" was made synonymous with his name and his existence. No doubt when publicly tom was made fun of, in front of his seniors, during games of cricket, with the name, he was extremely "pleased" about the conquests made by joe. After all, no chiding about one's fiancee in public was too "personal". Friends are always "entitled" to do that in public.
But things did not stop there. Joe somehow got to know that tom had a great friend, a senior friend in terms of age, who treated him generously every now and then. He also got to know that tom hates accepting favors from anybody. So another pang of "jealousy" (am not sure if this is the right word) made joe start accusing tom in public of living a life of fun and frolic at the expense of his friend. Of course, this was done purely out of fun and there were no intentions to rebuke anyone, especially in public.
In other completely random sequence of events, dick, harry, tick and many more batchmates, grew a bit tired of a few habits of joe's. He was a true "half communist" by nature, like a few "communist political leaders". He believed in himself, and that whatever belonged to others belonged to the "people", and can be used by the "people" at large to enjoy the benefits. He believed that things loaned (with or without the owners consent) from friends don't need to be returned, unless it was of utmost emergency. He truly believed that treats are an interesting concept and are meant to be expected from others only. Also creditors are meant to be treated as "sundry creditors" in accordance to the accounting laws prevalent in planet wonder.
He believed in the "superiority" of certain people over all the others, and was a true guru of Hitler and Mussoloni. Also, in spite of repeatedly trying to woo women on the campus, he believed whole heartedly that he has never done so, and quite convincingly (despite shows like Tom&Jerry, Yam-Yam). This is in spite of his charismatic capabilities which would have put the "Barney Stintsons" and "James Bonds" to shame.
Joe believed white lies are good, if it benefited "someone". He believes there exists a particular "Homo Homo Sapien" who is way above the other students on campus, having come from a rather enviable background, a work-ex in the "best company in the world", and having latched onto one of the best summer offers on campus. The classmates and the other members of the "famous 5" group "admired" these qualities inherent in joe.
So I am sure now my readers are now dying to know the climax that follows this "interesting" turn of events.
A new day came into our lives. All the senior batches moved to tom's hostel. Soon the qualities of joe came to the forefront even more, and he became one of the most admired personalities on campus. Thanks to his enigmatic charm that rediscovers itself, every now and then.
So one day, something happened. Nothing was personal though. Nothing ever is.
One day, joe accessed Orkut (the official site for "communication") through tom's laptop, during a certain "mergering & acquiring" session. Then tom, after receiving his laptop from joe, did a certain joke on the latter. He changed his profile message to support a "certain cold war" that was brewing on campus. That cold war was no brain child of the rest of the "famous 5", but was coined when both joe and "shawn" (another friend) started showing "very similar interests".. sounds funny right?
Then came another session of friendly gestures aimed at joe. He was (in an absolutely mocking mood) locked up in his room, by Mr.X (don't know who that is though) and that friend of his started describing tom's rather "admirable" charisma on his door with a marker. Tom did none of these, but somehow joe felt tom did, and so, without warning fired a friendly missile (on test waters) on joe.
After these events needed to be sorted out, joe started accusing that someone had messed up with his orkut profile, more than just the profile message. Of course, although joe's updates were always visible, the same changes were never visible by any of his friends through his updates, other than his "sister", and thus a serious bug of GOOGLE was uncovered.
Tom wanted to reciprocate the kind gesture from joe, but was asked generously by harry, to be mean, and not repay the kindness showered on him. Guess harry could not actually judge the implications of the kindness shown by joe. Tom, being the selfish guy, agreed half heartedly.
.
.
.
.
No the story gets spicier..
.
.
.
There occurred a certain instance when a certain "title nameplate" used to hang above joe's door. One day, after a bout of table tennis, the same caught the imagination of a Mr.Y. Tom took a photo of the same, and passed the same "door pic" to Mr.Y, sensing that his dear friend may be teased a bit for fun. There happens to be a "elite club" in the campus, and in the true spirit of joviality, joe was nominated the secy of the "elite club" know for having similar tastes and for their slogan "main aadmi hoon, aadmi se pyar karta hoon..!" Guess what, joe did not see the funny side of the story, and failed to appreciate the class of the blog that was written on the "newly appointed secy".
So what now?
Even I as the story writer is waiting in anticipation.
Tom has, in the meantime, decided that he is really fired up, and in case of any more "misfire", he will launch "little boy" again.
Joe claims he is always spoiled with affection from his batchmates, and thus he is entitles to reciprocate the same to him.
The rest of the batch (and the rest of the "famous 5") also are eager to see how things work out, and will continue to be affectionate towards there admirable friend Joe.
In the meantime tom and joe continue to be insignificant people and the best of friends in this planet wonder.
So I guess, as the story writer, I can only wait in anticipation..
Guys, I am writing a blog after a very long time and under severe time constraints, so forgive me if my story telling is not so juicy..
Not really though, there were actually only two protagonists (2 protagonists???), tom and joe. They were two insignificant(and hence the names in lower cases) and contrasting personalities on this planet wonder that provides us with so many varieties amongst each species.
It was during a certain time that friends come together in a certain campus to study business. The "hilarious" comedy that followed arises from a simple issue, that people fail to understand what exactly is personal business unless the joke's on them.
Tom, dick, harry, tick & joe are still great friends, in spite of what traverses between them often, make no mistake about that, and they will stand for each other, in the times of need.. [ :-)]
It all started when "famous 5" slowly got to know each other, just after coming to the campus. What started as a fun filled session on teasing tom, about his platonic relationship with his fiancee, turned out to be a little more private, when certain issues that are strictly sensitive issues, were made fun of. Still tom appeared calm, and soon, the name "intellectual intercourse" was made synonymous with his name and his existence. No doubt when publicly tom was made fun of, in front of his seniors, during games of cricket, with the name, he was extremely "pleased" about the conquests made by joe. After all, no chiding about one's fiancee in public was too "personal". Friends are always "entitled" to do that in public.
But things did not stop there. Joe somehow got to know that tom had a great friend, a senior friend in terms of age, who treated him generously every now and then. He also got to know that tom hates accepting favors from anybody. So another pang of "jealousy" (am not sure if this is the right word) made joe start accusing tom in public of living a life of fun and frolic at the expense of his friend. Of course, this was done purely out of fun and there were no intentions to rebuke anyone, especially in public.
In other completely random sequence of events, dick, harry, tick and many more batchmates, grew a bit tired of a few habits of joe's. He was a true "half communist" by nature, like a few "communist political leaders". He believed in himself, and that whatever belonged to others belonged to the "people", and can be used by the "people" at large to enjoy the benefits. He believed that things loaned (with or without the owners consent) from friends don't need to be returned, unless it was of utmost emergency. He truly believed that treats are an interesting concept and are meant to be expected from others only. Also creditors are meant to be treated as "sundry creditors" in accordance to the accounting laws prevalent in planet wonder.
He believed in the "superiority" of certain people over all the others, and was a true guru of Hitler and Mussoloni. Also, in spite of repeatedly trying to woo women on the campus, he believed whole heartedly that he has never done so, and quite convincingly (despite shows like Tom&Jerry, Yam-Yam). This is in spite of his charismatic capabilities which would have put the "Barney Stintsons" and "James Bonds" to shame.
Joe believed white lies are good, if it benefited "someone". He believes there exists a particular "Homo Homo Sapien" who is way above the other students on campus, having come from a rather enviable background, a work-ex in the "best company in the world", and having latched onto one of the best summer offers on campus. The classmates and the other members of the "famous 5" group "admired" these qualities inherent in joe.
So I am sure now my readers are now dying to know the climax that follows this "interesting" turn of events.
A new day came into our lives. All the senior batches moved to tom's hostel. Soon the qualities of joe came to the forefront even more, and he became one of the most admired personalities on campus. Thanks to his enigmatic charm that rediscovers itself, every now and then.
So one day, something happened. Nothing was personal though. Nothing ever is.
One day, joe accessed Orkut (the official site for "communication") through tom's laptop, during a certain "mergering & acquiring" session. Then tom, after receiving his laptop from joe, did a certain joke on the latter. He changed his profile message to support a "certain cold war" that was brewing on campus. That cold war was no brain child of the rest of the "famous 5", but was coined when both joe and "shawn" (another friend) started showing "very similar interests".. sounds funny right?
Then came another session of friendly gestures aimed at joe. He was (in an absolutely mocking mood) locked up in his room, by Mr.X (don't know who that is though) and that friend of his started describing tom's rather "admirable" charisma on his door with a marker. Tom did none of these, but somehow joe felt tom did, and so, without warning fired a friendly missile (on test waters) on joe.
After these events needed to be sorted out, joe started accusing that someone had messed up with his orkut profile, more than just the profile message. Of course, although joe's updates were always visible, the same changes were never visible by any of his friends through his updates, other than his "sister", and thus a serious bug of GOOGLE was uncovered.
Tom wanted to reciprocate the kind gesture from joe, but was asked generously by harry, to be mean, and not repay the kindness showered on him. Guess harry could not actually judge the implications of the kindness shown by joe. Tom, being the selfish guy, agreed half heartedly.
.
.
.
.
No the story gets spicier..
.
.
.
There occurred a certain instance when a certain "title nameplate" used to hang above joe's door. One day, after a bout of table tennis, the same caught the imagination of a Mr.Y. Tom took a photo of the same, and passed the same "door pic" to Mr.Y, sensing that his dear friend may be teased a bit for fun. There happens to be a "elite club" in the campus, and in the true spirit of joviality, joe was nominated the secy of the "elite club" know for having similar tastes and for their slogan "main aadmi hoon, aadmi se pyar karta hoon..!" Guess what, joe did not see the funny side of the story, and failed to appreciate the class of the blog that was written on the "newly appointed secy".
So what now?
Even I as the story writer is waiting in anticipation.
Tom has, in the meantime, decided that he is really fired up, and in case of any more "misfire", he will launch "little boy" again.
Joe claims he is always spoiled with affection from his batchmates, and thus he is entitles to reciprocate the same to him.
The rest of the batch (and the rest of the "famous 5") also are eager to see how things work out, and will continue to be affectionate towards there admirable friend Joe.
In the meantime tom and joe continue to be insignificant people and the best of friends in this planet wonder.
So I guess, as the story writer, I can only wait in anticipation..
Guys, I am writing a blog after a very long time and under severe time constraints, so forgive me if my story telling is not so juicy..
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Celebrating Tradition! Be What You Are,If You Dare!!
Most modern Indian cities strive to rise above ethnicity.Tell anybody who lives in Bombay that he lives in a Maharashtrian city and he will take immediate offence. We are cosmopolitan, he will say indigenously. Tell a Delhiwalla that his is a Punjabi city (which, in many ways, it is) and he will respond with much self-righteous nonsense about being the nation's capital, about the international composition of the city's elite etc.And tell a Bangalorean that he lives in a Kannadiga city and you'll get lots of techno-gaff about the internet revolution and about how Bangalore is even more cosmopolitan thanBombay.
But, the only way to understand what Calcutta is about is to recognize that the city is essentially Bengali. What's more, no Bengali minds you saying that. Rather, he is proud of the fact. Calcutta's strengths and weaknesses mirror those of the Bengali character.It has the drawbacks: the sudden passions, the cheerful chaos, the utter contempt for mere commerce, the fiery response to the smallest provocation.
And it has the strengths! Calcutta embodies the Bengali love of culture; the triumph of intellectualism over greed; the complete transparency of all emotions, the disdain with which hypocrisy and insincerity are treated; the warmth of genuine humanity; and the supremacy of emotion over all other aspects of human existence.
That's why Calcutta is not for everyone. You want your cities clean and green; stick to Delhi. You want your cities, rich and impersonal; go to Bombay. You want them high-tech and full of draught beer; Bangalore's your place. But if you want a city with a soul: come to Calcutta.When I look back on the years I've spent in Calcutta - and I come back so many times each year that I often feel I've never been away - I don't remember the things that people remember about cities. When I think of London, I think of the vast open spaces of Hyde Park.When I think of New York, I think of the frenzy of Times Square. When I think of Tokyo, I think of the bright lights of Shinjiku. And when I think of Paris, I think of the Champs Elysee.Trust me, I did not visit any of these places.
But when I think of Calcutta, I never think of any one place. I don't focus on the greenery of the maidan, the beauty of the Victoria Memorial, the bustle of Burra Bazar or the splendour of the new Howrah 'Bridge'. I think of people. Because, finally, a city is more than bricks and mortars, street lights and tarred roads.A city is the sum of its people. And who can ever forget or replicate - the people of Calcutta?When I first came to live here, I was told that the city would grow on me. What nobody told me was that the city would change my life.
It was in Calcutta that I learnt about true warmth; about simple human decency; about love and friendship; about emotions and caring; about truth and honesty.I learnt other things too. Coming from Bombay as I did, it was a revelation to live in a city where people judged each other on the things that really mattered; where they recognized that being rich did not make you a better person - in fact, it might have the opposite effect.I learnt also that if life is about more than just money, it is about the things that other cities ignore; about culture, about ideas, about art, and about passion.
In Bombay, a man with a relatively low income will salt some of it away for the day when he gets a stock market tip. In Calcutta, a man with exactly the same income will not know the difference between a debenture and a dividend. But he will spend his money on the things that matter.Each morning, he will read at least two newspapers and develop sharply etched views on the state of the world. Each evening, there will be fresh (ideally, fresh-water or river) fish on his table. His children will be encouraged to learn to dance or sing. His family will appreciate the power of poetry. And for him, religion and culture will be in inextricably bound together.
Ah religion! Tell outsiders about the importance of Puja in Calcutta and they'll scoff. Don't be silly, they'll say. Puja is a religious festival. And Bengal has voted for the CPM since 1977. How can godless Bengal be so hung up on a religions festival?I never know how to explain them that to a Bengali, religion consists of much more than shouting Jai Shri Ram or pulling down somebody's mosque. It has little to do with meaningless ritual or sinister political activity.The essence of Puja is that all the passions of Bengal converge: emotion, culture, the love of life, the warmth of being together, the joy of celebration, the pride in artistic expression and yes, the cult of the goddess.It may be about religion. But is about much more than just worship. In which other part of India would small, notparticularly well-off localities, vie with each otherto produce the best pandals? Where else could puja pandals go beyond religion to draw inspiration from everything else?In the years I lived in Calcutta, the pandals featured Amitabh Bachchan, Princes Diana and even Saddam Hussain! Where else would children cry with the sheer emotional power of Dashimi, upset that the Goddess had left their homes? Where else would the whole city gooseflesh when the dhakis first begin to beat their drums? Which other Indian festival - in any part of the country - is so much about food, about going from one roadside stall to another, following your nose as it trails the smells of cooking?To understand Puja, you must understand Calcutta. And to understand Calcutta, you must understand the Bengali. It's not easy. Certainly,you can't do it till you come and live here, till you let Calcutta suffuse your being, invade your bloodstream and steal your soul. But once you have, you'll love Calcutta forever.Wherever you go,a bit of Calcutta will go with you. I know, because it's happened to me. And every Puja, I am overcome by the magic of Bengal. It's a feeling that'll never go away.
But, the only way to understand what Calcutta is about is to recognize that the city is essentially Bengali. What's more, no Bengali minds you saying that. Rather, he is proud of the fact. Calcutta's strengths and weaknesses mirror those of the Bengali character.It has the drawbacks: the sudden passions, the cheerful chaos, the utter contempt for mere commerce, the fiery response to the smallest provocation.
And it has the strengths! Calcutta embodies the Bengali love of culture; the triumph of intellectualism over greed; the complete transparency of all emotions, the disdain with which hypocrisy and insincerity are treated; the warmth of genuine humanity; and the supremacy of emotion over all other aspects of human existence.
That's why Calcutta is not for everyone. You want your cities clean and green; stick to Delhi. You want your cities, rich and impersonal; go to Bombay. You want them high-tech and full of draught beer; Bangalore's your place. But if you want a city with a soul: come to Calcutta.When I look back on the years I've spent in Calcutta - and I come back so many times each year that I often feel I've never been away - I don't remember the things that people remember about cities. When I think of London, I think of the vast open spaces of Hyde Park.When I think of New York, I think of the frenzy of Times Square. When I think of Tokyo, I think of the bright lights of Shinjiku. And when I think of Paris, I think of the Champs Elysee.Trust me, I did not visit any of these places.
But when I think of Calcutta, I never think of any one place. I don't focus on the greenery of the maidan, the beauty of the Victoria Memorial, the bustle of Burra Bazar or the splendour of the new Howrah 'Bridge'. I think of people. Because, finally, a city is more than bricks and mortars, street lights and tarred roads.A city is the sum of its people. And who can ever forget or replicate - the people of Calcutta?When I first came to live here, I was told that the city would grow on me. What nobody told me was that the city would change my life.
It was in Calcutta that I learnt about true warmth; about simple human decency; about love and friendship; about emotions and caring; about truth and honesty.I learnt other things too. Coming from Bombay as I did, it was a revelation to live in a city where people judged each other on the things that really mattered; where they recognized that being rich did not make you a better person - in fact, it might have the opposite effect.I learnt also that if life is about more than just money, it is about the things that other cities ignore; about culture, about ideas, about art, and about passion.
In Bombay, a man with a relatively low income will salt some of it away for the day when he gets a stock market tip. In Calcutta, a man with exactly the same income will not know the difference between a debenture and a dividend. But he will spend his money on the things that matter.Each morning, he will read at least two newspapers and develop sharply etched views on the state of the world. Each evening, there will be fresh (ideally, fresh-water or river) fish on his table. His children will be encouraged to learn to dance or sing. His family will appreciate the power of poetry. And for him, religion and culture will be in inextricably bound together.
Ah religion! Tell outsiders about the importance of Puja in Calcutta and they'll scoff. Don't be silly, they'll say. Puja is a religious festival. And Bengal has voted for the CPM since 1977. How can godless Bengal be so hung up on a religions festival?I never know how to explain them that to a Bengali, religion consists of much more than shouting Jai Shri Ram or pulling down somebody's mosque. It has little to do with meaningless ritual or sinister political activity.The essence of Puja is that all the passions of Bengal converge: emotion, culture, the love of life, the warmth of being together, the joy of celebration, the pride in artistic expression and yes, the cult of the goddess.It may be about religion. But is about much more than just worship. In which other part of India would small, notparticularly well-off localities, vie with each otherto produce the best pandals? Where else could puja pandals go beyond religion to draw inspiration from everything else?In the years I lived in Calcutta, the pandals featured Amitabh Bachchan, Princes Diana and even Saddam Hussain! Where else would children cry with the sheer emotional power of Dashimi, upset that the Goddess had left their homes? Where else would the whole city gooseflesh when the dhakis first begin to beat their drums? Which other Indian festival - in any part of the country - is so much about food, about going from one roadside stall to another, following your nose as it trails the smells of cooking?To understand Puja, you must understand Calcutta. And to understand Calcutta, you must understand the Bengali. It's not easy. Certainly,you can't do it till you come and live here, till you let Calcutta suffuse your being, invade your bloodstream and steal your soul. But once you have, you'll love Calcutta forever.Wherever you go,a bit of Calcutta will go with you. I know, because it's happened to me. And every Puja, I am overcome by the magic of Bengal. It's a feeling that'll never go away.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Unconditional love
Humans, whatever may be the case, cannot give each other unconditional love. We get upset or impatient when someone fails to make us happy. Furthermore, we base our love for someone on how well they perform. The root of this problem is sin, which causes constant mistakes, conflicts, and disappointments. No one is accepting, patient, and forgiving all of the time.
Therefore, human love is like chocolate because the pleasure doesn't last. None of us have the ability to accept people unconditionally. The affection we give to each other may taste good initially, but the thrill disappears as our selfish motives demand performance. And this problem lasts from the cradle to the grave.
I don't mean to sound fatalistic, but we must acknowledge the reality that human love is performance-based. It always has been and always will be. You can date anyone in this world, but that person cannot give your heart the unconditional acceptance that it craves.
This truth also applies in marriage.
Therefore, human love is like chocolate because the pleasure doesn't last. None of us have the ability to accept people unconditionally. The affection we give to each other may taste good initially, but the thrill disappears as our selfish motives demand performance. And this problem lasts from the cradle to the grave.
I don't mean to sound fatalistic, but we must acknowledge the reality that human love is performance-based. It always has been and always will be. You can date anyone in this world, but that person cannot give your heart the unconditional acceptance that it craves.
This truth also applies in marriage.
Someone once asked a pastor, "What is your wife's opinion of you?"
He replied, "It depends on what day you ask her. Some days she loves me. Other days, I drive her crazy, and she wonders why she married me. My wife and I wish we could love each other perfectly, but it is impossible since we both sin and make choices that hurt each other. God is the only Person who loves us regardless of how we act."
Such is life: our take on it may differ but mankind suffers the ordeal of the communication fatalties.Friday, April 20, 2007
Moths fly into the fire even though they are burnt by it.
Men will never understand women-anonymous.
Anonymous may be the only way to relate to this genius who said this,because thats a truth even the geniuses of Darwin and Lawrence were left groping with,when they were faced with the issue. The only light darwin ever dropped on the topic was when he quoted "the female of this species is more dangerous than the male.."
In one of Lawrence's tortured poems, "the pansies" he provides a liberating insight to man woman relationships. Are we,the members of the human race,condemned as pansies,since nature has decreed that we are essentially incompatible with the fairer sex and yet fail to subjugate the pre-hormonal allure..
Francoise Paullin de Barre,a student of the renowned philosopher, Rene Descartes, once quoted a brilliant one liner which lightens up many "fuzzy" questions when he said "the mind has no sex".
Sex is a perception from the point of biology,while gender is an expression of sociology. What intrigues and illudes me is their intersection, how far do these fissures go?
Mankind with all its uninterrupted genius has ever failed to unravel the mystery of womanhood. No wonder a george meredith quotation flashes to the inner eye, "women will be the last thing to be tamed by man". I am sure after Meredith said this the sale of his novels increased many times over.
Women are totally unpredictable, fickle, erratic(yet errotic) and inconsistent. All their actions being totally devoid of logic are not guided by the simple laws of Human nature. They will very seriously ask for your advice, completely agree to abide by it, then go out and do exactly what you told them not to do.
William Shakespeare found an expression for these relentless women in one of his dramas, the merchant of venice. "Those that she maketh fair,she scarce makes honest; and those that she maketh honest, she makes them very ill favoured."
After numerous discussions with my fellow sufferers,we came to a common conclusion.Beauty in the feminine gender is directly proportional to how mean she is.
Somehow the perception of love is so different between the two genders. When we get love unsought at the beginning, we feel very good about ourselves,although truth is very soon that feeling turns to irritance. But since some magnanimous person invented the word "chivalry" we are unable to tell our admirers to take a long walk off a short pier,quite unlike our female counterparts. So in the best traditions of Bertie Wooster, we make a fool out of ourselves so that they see the light and leave us alone. Unfortunately life portrayed by Wodehouse is not a reality.
But no matter how much we slander women,we always run back to them at the end of the day.No matter how much our brains tell us not to,even after the worst of experiences, we run back to women.So even after all this, when I see an ethereal beauty, I seem to develope amnesia. I feel my egs turning wobbly and I drown myself in the depths of her timeless azure eyes.My heart skips beats and the rate doubles over.
"Moths fly into the fire even though they are burnt by it".
The same can be said of men returning to women.
Ladies,please do not take offense. I understand men even lesser.
Anonymous may be the only way to relate to this genius who said this,because thats a truth even the geniuses of Darwin and Lawrence were left groping with,when they were faced with the issue. The only light darwin ever dropped on the topic was when he quoted "the female of this species is more dangerous than the male.."
In one of Lawrence's tortured poems, "the pansies" he provides a liberating insight to man woman relationships. Are we,the members of the human race,condemned as pansies,since nature has decreed that we are essentially incompatible with the fairer sex and yet fail to subjugate the pre-hormonal allure..
Francoise Paullin de Barre,a student of the renowned philosopher, Rene Descartes, once quoted a brilliant one liner which lightens up many "fuzzy" questions when he said "the mind has no sex".
Sex is a perception from the point of biology,while gender is an expression of sociology. What intrigues and illudes me is their intersection, how far do these fissures go?
Mankind with all its uninterrupted genius has ever failed to unravel the mystery of womanhood. No wonder a george meredith quotation flashes to the inner eye, "women will be the last thing to be tamed by man". I am sure after Meredith said this the sale of his novels increased many times over.
Women are totally unpredictable, fickle, erratic(yet errotic) and inconsistent. All their actions being totally devoid of logic are not guided by the simple laws of Human nature. They will very seriously ask for your advice, completely agree to abide by it, then go out and do exactly what you told them not to do.
William Shakespeare found an expression for these relentless women in one of his dramas, the merchant of venice. "Those that she maketh fair,she scarce makes honest; and those that she maketh honest, she makes them very ill favoured."
After numerous discussions with my fellow sufferers,we came to a common conclusion.Beauty in the feminine gender is directly proportional to how mean she is.
Somehow the perception of love is so different between the two genders. When we get love unsought at the beginning, we feel very good about ourselves,although truth is very soon that feeling turns to irritance. But since some magnanimous person invented the word "chivalry" we are unable to tell our admirers to take a long walk off a short pier,quite unlike our female counterparts. So in the best traditions of Bertie Wooster, we make a fool out of ourselves so that they see the light and leave us alone. Unfortunately life portrayed by Wodehouse is not a reality.
But no matter how much we slander women,we always run back to them at the end of the day.No matter how much our brains tell us not to,even after the worst of experiences, we run back to women.So even after all this, when I see an ethereal beauty, I seem to develope amnesia. I feel my egs turning wobbly and I drown myself in the depths of her timeless azure eyes.My heart skips beats and the rate doubles over.
"Moths fly into the fire even though they are burnt by it".
The same can be said of men returning to women.
Ladies,please do not take offense. I understand men even lesser.
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