From Jamshedpur to Howrah: A mixed experence..

Traveling long distance by train was one of the most enjoyable modes of transportation in India. But that was before I got aquainted with the local versions of the royalty, which I did during my not so brief stay at XLRI Jamshedpur.

Once you get over the initial hurdles of getting a reserved seat or squeeze yourself in through the crowded doors as the train slowly rolls in to the platform or the frantic attempts to manage the porter and the family, the journey becomes much easy and enjoyable. Overnight train rides are better in this context snce the crowd is comparatively much lesser in "density" and you need not fight to manage a seat to doze off, but the challenge is that you also need to keep an eye on your luggage and belongings to protect them from the “highly friendly” co-passengers around you.

Most of this uneventful journey, I keep my attention encaptured in an action movie, played on my laptop and if I am lucky, a large pack of snacks like Kurkure or Lays. This is despite the dissapproving glaces from the senior citizens around me who claim that the only thing today's youth is capable of doing is spending valuable time on the "devlish" laptop, without trying anything constructive. Of course, today, the Indian economy is booming thanks to the generation that believes we are systematically ruining the nation. Little do they realize that our "always busy with nothing to do" schedule is such that for even to do anything constructive, we are forced to use the lean mean machine, to unleash our prejudiced meladramatic virtual selves in the worlds of Orkut and Facebook. Such is the dichotomy in the minds of Indian citizens. Again, given my non-existent disposition in this country, I can barely make a difference to the ideas that flow amongst the super-learned senior citizens in this country, so I continue to be engrossed in my planet wonder.

If you were unlucky enough of not having a proper reservation, as I often do, then your plight can only be imagined by those who took that journey. However, once you are settled in your seats or berths, temptations start knocking on your senses as the aroma of hot food attracts your attention along with the loud marketing attempts by the food vendors on the station.

Later, as the train crosses Kharagpur, we have to be consoled only with the food offered by the railway caterers which looked and smelled tempting but are barely tasty. Still, we wait eagerly for the moment when the uniformed caterers brought in those food trays with holes and slots filled with omlette, french fries, and fish fries. Often we are forced to carry better food with us like home-made delicacies, but only if we are blessed, which again, I am not. So I continue my uneventful journey staring at my laptop, passing occassional glances if I find anything tasty, for the tastebuds or for my sore eyes.

Another feature of this specific route was that most regulars hardly ever buy any tickets for their travel. After traveling few times, they all knew each and every Ticket Collector (TTs) and they had symbiotic relationship with them which reduced travel budgets significantly. In fact it was a disgrace for a young guy to travel with a train ticket as one of my co-passengers once explained to me. When he displayed his ticket to the TT on board, the disappointed official once had scolded him citing that a young guy like him should have been more adventurous.

I really appreciate our railway minister Mr. Lallu Prasad Yadav. It must have been a real challenge for him to make the railways profitable by collecting the proper fare from each and every passenger. However, he must have killed the adventurous spirit of the youth in this process, thus affecting the very spirit of mother India.

Thus ends my eventful journey from Jamshedpur to Kolkata. The deviation from the rather standardized process, is as rare as Mallika Sherawat donning a traditional saree without a reveal-all objective. Then all said and done, this I guess is expected of a public transport given the stage of development of our economy and the booming population.

"Honeymoon Travels" to "Alice in Wonderland"

I, watched "Honeymoon Travels" today...
The movie is, I have to admit, not that special. But there was something that made it special last night.. I was visited by the princess of my dreams after that, and we watched another movie yesterday..one that was made special, thanks to the eyes that made me feel special..made me the prince charming that I always wanted to be, but could not, due to other ongoing engagements..
I still fail to fathom whether it was reality, or am I still lost in dreamland?
The journey through dreamland started at Hongkong, and little did I know that it would culminate into the climax that it did. The dream that followed was the very embodiment of every graceful fancy I ever dreamt about.. Every time our eyes met, I was lost in their timeless beauty.. I, seemed to have developed amnesia. Forsyth could not have described Sigi more aptly, as I started appreciating the grace of the womanhood unfolding before my humble eyes. I started to develop wobbly legs, and don't know if it was an international conspiracy or otherwise, so did my chair. Thus I was left wondering, groping in the dark. Then she helped me to stand amidst all the turbulence that surrounded our ecstatic existence.. to allow me explore dreamland.. and I, worshiping the beau, fell once more in love with the pagan beauty.. The sounds of Darwin followed me in my dreams and Follet's liberal play with words sounded like Christmas bells in my ears.. Cupid's arrows started raining like "cats & dogs", and I started to comprehend the wisdom and the significance of the phrase in its true literary spirit..
We all need memories to survive in this ruthless world, this will remain one of the priceless ones.. one that will make this last term @ XL, so special.. .
The bells of Christmas rang true with the colors of the season.
The only desire I have now is to break away from these tormenting classes that chain me with this planet governed by Freakonomics.. to show her the land from which I hail... To feel her vibes with mine, in my homeland...the city of joy...

The warmth of love can rejuvenate everyone on this planet wonder. And I, being a mere mortal, am susceptible to the message so aptly delivered by Christ.

Love and be loved.
Merry Christmas.
And may peace be with you..

ps: I am only the representative of a phenomenon, and not reality as such.. :-)

A comedy of errors

I will tell you a story today, a story that had many characters, tom, dick, harry, tick & joe, and many more..

Not really though, there were actually only two protagonists (2 protagonists???), tom and joe. They were two insignificant(and hence the names in lower cases) and contrasting personalities on this planet wonder that provides us with so many varieties amongst each species.

It was during a certain time that friends come together in a certain campus to study business. The "hilarious" comedy that followed arises from a simple issue, that people fail to understand what exactly is personal business unless the joke's on them.
Tom, dick, harry, tick & joe are still great friends, in spite of what traverses between them often, make no mistake about that, and they will stand for each other, in the times of need.. [ :-)]

It all started when "famous 5" slowly got to know each other, just after coming to the campus. What started as a fun filled session on teasing tom, about his platonic relationship with his fiancee, turned out to be a little more private, when certain issues that are strictly sensitive issues, were made fun of. Still tom appeared calm, and soon, the name "intellectual intercourse" was made synonymous with his name and his existence. No doubt when publicly tom was made fun of, in front of his seniors, during games of cricket, with the name, he was extremely "pleased" about the conquests made by joe. After all, no chiding about one's fiancee in public was too "personal". Friends are always "entitled" to do that in public.
But things did not stop there. Joe somehow got to know that tom had a great friend, a senior friend in terms of age, who treated him generously every now and then. He also got to know that tom hates accepting favors from anybody. So another pang of "jealousy" (am not sure if this is the right word) made joe start accusing tom in public of living a life of fun and frolic at the expense of his friend. Of course, this was done purely out of fun and there were no intentions to rebuke anyone, especially in public.

In other completely random sequence of events, dick, harry, tick and many more batchmates, grew a bit tired of a few habits of joe's. He was a true "half communist" by nature, like a few "communist political leaders". He believed in himself, and that whatever belonged to others belonged to the "people", and can be used by the "people" at large to enjoy the benefits. He believed that things loaned (with or without the owners consent) from friends don't need to be returned, unless it was of utmost emergency. He truly believed that treats are an interesting concept and are meant to be expected from others only. Also creditors are meant to be treated as "sundry creditors" in accordance to the accounting laws prevalent in planet wonder.
He believed in the "superiority" of certain people over all the others, and was a true guru of Hitler and Mussoloni. Also, in spite of repeatedly trying to woo women on the campus, he believed whole heartedly that he has never done so, and quite convincingly (despite shows like Tom&Jerry, Yam-Yam). This is in spite of his charismatic capabilities which would have put the "Barney Stintsons" and "James Bonds" to shame.
Joe believed white lies are good, if it benefited "someone". He believes there exists a particular "Homo Homo Sapien" who is way above the other students on campus, having come from a rather enviable background, a work-ex in the "best company in the world", and having latched onto one of the best summer offers on campus. The classmates and the other members of the "famous 5" group "admired" these qualities inherent in joe.


So I am sure now my readers are now dying to know the climax that follows this "interesting" turn of events.


A new day came into our lives. All the senior batches moved to tom's hostel. Soon the qualities of joe came to the forefront even more, and he became one of the most admired personalities on campus. Thanks to his enigmatic charm that rediscovers itself, every now and then.
So one day, something happened. Nothing was personal though. Nothing ever is.

One day, joe accessed Orkut (the official site for "communication") through tom's laptop, during a certain "mergering & acquiring" session. Then tom, after receiving his laptop from joe, did a certain joke on the latter. He changed his profile message to support a "certain cold war" that was brewing on campus. That cold war was no brain child of the rest of the "famous 5", but was coined when both joe and "shawn" (another friend) started showing "very similar interests".. sounds funny right?
Then came another session of friendly gestures aimed at joe. He was (in an absolutely mocking mood) locked up in his room, by Mr.X (don't know who that is though) and that friend of his started describing tom's rather "admirable" charisma on his door with a marker. Tom did none of these, but somehow joe felt tom did, and so, without warning fired a friendly missile (on test waters) on joe.
After these events needed to be sorted out, joe started accusing that someone had messed up with his orkut profile, more than just the profile message. Of course, although joe's updates were always visible, the same changes were never visible by any of his friends through his updates, other than his "sister", and thus a serious bug of GOOGLE was uncovered.
Tom wanted to reciprocate the kind gesture from joe, but was asked generously by harry, to be mean, and not repay the kindness showered on him. Guess harry could not actually judge the implications of the kindness shown by joe. Tom, being the selfish guy, agreed half heartedly.
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No the story gets spicier..
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There occurred a certain instance when a certain "title nameplate" used to hang above joe's door. One day, after a bout of table tennis, the same caught the imagination of a Mr.Y. Tom took a photo of the same, and passed the same "door pic" to Mr.Y, sensing that his dear friend may be teased a bit for fun. There happens to be a "elite club" in the campus, and in the true spirit of joviality, joe was nominated the secy of the "elite club" know for having similar tastes and for their slogan "main aadmi hoon, aadmi se pyar karta hoon..!" Guess what, joe did not see the funny side of the story, and failed to appreciate the class of the blog that was written on the "newly appointed secy".

So what now?
Even I as the story writer is waiting in anticipation.

Tom has, in the meantime, decided that he is really fired up, and in case of any more "misfire", he will launch "little boy" again.
Joe claims he is always spoiled with affection from his batchmates, and thus he is entitles to reciprocate the same to him.
The rest of the batch (and the rest of the "famous 5") also are eager to see how things work out, and will continue to be affectionate towards there admirable friend Joe.
In the meantime tom and joe continue to be insignificant people and the best of friends in this planet wonder.

So I guess, as the story writer, I can only wait in anticipation..
Guys, I am writing a blog after a very long time and under severe time constraints, so forgive me if my story telling is not so juicy..

Celebrating Tradition! Be What You Are,If You Dare!!

Most modern Indian cities strive to rise above ethnicity.Tell anybody who lives in Bombay that he lives in a Maharashtrian city and he will take immediate offence. We are cosmopolitan, he will say indigenously. Tell a Delhiwalla that his is a Punjabi city (which, in many ways, it is) and he will respond with much self-righteous nonsense about being the nation's capital, about the international composition of the city's elite etc.And tell a Bangalorean that he lives in a Kannadiga city and you'll get lots of techno-gaff about the internet revolution and about how Bangalore is even more cosmopolitan thanBombay.

But, the only way to understand what Calcutta is about is to recognize that the city is essentially Bengali. What's more, no Bengali minds you saying that. Rather, he is proud of the fact. Calcutta's strengths and weaknesses mirror those of the Bengali character.It has the drawbacks: the sudden passions, the cheerful chaos, the utter contempt for mere commerce, the fiery response to the smallest provocation.

And it has the strengths! Calcutta embodies the Bengali love of culture; the triumph of intellectualism over greed; the complete transparency of all emotions, the disdain with which hypocrisy and insincerity are treated; the warmth of genuine humanity; and the supremacy of emotion over all other aspects of human existence.

That's why Calcutta is not for everyone. You want your cities clean and green; stick to Delhi. You want your cities, rich and impersonal; go to Bombay. You want them high-tech and full of draught beer; Bangalore's your place. But if you want a city with a soul: come to Calcutta.When I look back on the years I've spent in Calcutta - and I come back so many times each year that I often feel I've never been away - I don't remember the things that people remember about cities. When I think of London, I think of the vast open spaces of Hyde Park.When I think of New York, I think of the frenzy of Times Square. When I think of Tokyo, I think of the bright lights of Shinjiku. And when I think of Paris, I think of the Champs Elysee.Trust me, I did not visit any of these places.


But when I think of Calcutta, I never think of any one place. I don't focus on the greenery of the maidan, the beauty of the Victoria Memorial, the bustle of Burra Bazar or the splendour of the new Howrah 'Bridge'. I think of people. Because, finally, a city is more than bricks and mortars, street lights and tarred roads.A city is the sum of its people. And who can ever forget or replicate - the people of Calcutta?When I first came to live here, I was told that the city would grow on me. What nobody told me was that the city would change my life.

It was in Calcutta that I learnt about true warmth; about simple human decency; about love and friendship; about emotions and caring; about truth and honesty.I learnt other things too. Coming from Bombay as I did, it was a revelation to live in a city where people judged each other on the things that really mattered; where they recognized that being rich did not make you a better person - in fact, it might have the opposite effect.I learnt also that if life is about more than just money, it is about the things that other cities ignore; about culture, about ideas, about art, and about passion.

In Bombay, a man with a relatively low income will salt some of it away for the day when he gets a stock market tip. In Calcutta, a man with exactly the same income will not know the difference between a debenture and a dividend. But he will spend his money on the things that matter.Each morning, he will read at least two newspapers and develop sharply etched views on the state of the world. Each evening, there will be fresh (ideally, fresh-water or river) fish on his table. His children will be encouraged to learn to dance or sing. His family will appreciate the power of poetry. And for him, religion and culture will be in inextricably bound together.
Ah religion! Tell outsiders about the importance of Puja in Calcutta and they'll scoff. Don't be silly, they'll say. Puja is a religious festival. And Bengal has voted for the CPM since 1977. How can godless Bengal be so hung up on a religions festival?I never know how to explain them that to a Bengali, religion consists of much more than shouting Jai Shri Ram or pulling down somebody's mosque. It has little to do with meaningless ritual or sinister political activity.The essence of Puja is that all the passions of Bengal converge: emotion, culture, the love of life, the warmth of being together, the joy of celebration, the pride in artistic expression and yes, the cult of the goddess.It may be about religion. But is about much more than just worship. In which other part of India would small, notparticularly well-off localities, vie with each otherto produce the best pandals? Where else could puja pandals go beyond religion to draw inspiration from everything else?In the years I lived in Calcutta, the pandals featured Amitabh Bachchan, Princes Diana and even Saddam Hussain! Where else would children cry with the sheer emotional power of Dashimi, upset that the Goddess had left their homes? Where else would the whole city gooseflesh when the dhakis first begin to beat their drums? Which other Indian festival - in any part of the country - is so much about food, about going from one roadside stall to another, following your nose as it trails the smells of cooking?To understand Puja, you must understand Calcutta. And to understand Calcutta, you must understand the Bengali. It's not easy. Certainly,you can't do it till you come and live here, till you let Calcutta suffuse your being, invade your bloodstream and steal your soul. But once you have, you'll love Calcutta forever.Wherever you go,a bit of Calcutta will go with you. I know, because it's happened to me. And every Puja, I am overcome by the magic of Bengal. It's a feeling that'll never go away.

Can we make it?

"I look upon both men and women with feelings of fraternity and love." Arpan Kar

For centuries, the differences between men and women were socially defined and distorted through a lens of sexism in which men assumed superiority over women and maintained it through domination. As the goal of equality between men and women now grows closer we are also losing our awareness of important differences. In some circles of society, politically correct thinking is obliterating important discussion as well as our awareness of the similarities and differences between men and women. The vision of equality between the sexes has narrowed the possibilities for discovery of what truly exists within a man and within a woman. The world is less interesting when everything is same.
It is my position that men and women are equal but different. When I say equal, I mean that men and women have a right to equal opportunity and protection under the law. The fact that people in this country are assured these rights does not negate my observation that men and women are at least as different psychologically as they are physically.

None of us would argue the fact that men and women are physically different. The physical differences are rather obvious and most of these can be seen and easily measured. Weight, shape, size and anatomy are not political opinions but rather tangible and easily measured. The physical differences between men and women provide functional advantages and have survival value. Men usually have greater upper body strength, build muscle easily, have thicker skin, bruise less easily and have a lower threshold of awareness of injuries to their extremities. Men are essentially built for physical confrontation and the use of force. Their joints are well suited for throwing objects. A man’s skull is almost always thicker and stronger than a women’s. The stereotype that men are more "thick-headed" than women is not far fetched. A man’s "thick headedness", and other anatomical differences have been associated with a uniquely male attraction to high speed activities and reckless behavior that usually involve collisions with other males or automobiles. Men invented the game "chicken", not women. Men, and a number of other male species of animal seem to charge and crash into each other a great deal in their spare time.

Women on the other hand have four times as many brain cells (neurons) connecting the right and left side of their brain. This latter finding provides physical evidence that supports the observation that men rely easily and more heavily on their left brain to solve one problem one step at a time. Women have more efficient access to both sides of their brain and therefore greater use of their right brain. Women can focus on more than one problem at one time and frequently prefer to solve problems through multiple activities at a time. Nearly every parent has observed how young girls find the conversations of young boys "boring". Young boys express confusion and would rather play sports than participate actively in a conversation between 5 girls who are discussing as many as three subjects at once!

The psychological differences between man and women are less obvious. They can be difficult to describe. Yet these differences can profoundly influence how we form and maintain relationships that can range from work and friendships to marriage and parenting. Recognizing, understanding, discussing as well as acting skillfully in light of the differences between men and women can be difficult. Our failure to recognize and appreciate these differences can become a life long source of disappointment, frustration, tension and eventually our downfall in a relationship. Not only can these differences destroy a promising relationship, but most people will grudgingly accept or learn to live with the consequences. Eventually they find some compromise or way to cope. Few people ever work past these difficulties. People tend to accept what they don’t understand when they feel powerless to change it.

Relationships between men and women are not impossible or necessarily difficult. Problems simply arise when we expect or assume the opposite sex should think, feel or act the way we do. It’s not that men and women live in completely different realities. Rather, our lack of knowledge and mutual experience gives rise to our difficulties. Despite great strides in this country toward equality, modern society hasn’t made relationships between men and women any easier. Today’s society has taught us and has imposed on us the expectation that men and women should live together continuously, in communion, and in harmony. These expectations are not only unrealistic but ultimately they leave people feeling unloved, inadequate, cynical, apathetic or ashamed.

The challenge facing men and women is to become aware of their identities, to accept their differences, and to live their lives fully and as skillfully as possible. To do this we must first understand in what ways we are different. We must avoid trying to change others to suit our needs. The following illustrates some important differences between men and women. These differences are not absolute. They describe how men and women are in most situations most of the time.
Men and women approach problems with similar goals but with different considerations. While men and women can solve problems equally well, their approach and their process are often quit different. For most women, sharing and discussing a problem presents an opportunity to explore, deepen or strengthen the relationship with the person they are talking with. Woman are usually more concerned about how problems are solved than merely solving the problem itself. For women, solving a problem can profoundly impact whether they feel closer and less alone or whether they feel distant and less connected. The process of solving a problem can strengthen or weaken a relationship. Most men are less concerned and do not feel the same as women when solving a problem.
Men approach problems in a very different manner than women. For most men, solving a problem presents an opportunity to demonstrate their competence, their strength of resolve, and their commitment to a relationship. How the problem is solved is not nearly as important as solving it effectively and in the best possible manner. Men have a tendency to dominate and to assume authority in a problem solving process. They set aside their feelings provided the dominance hierarchy was agreed upon in advance and respected. They are often distracted and do not attend well to the quality of the relationship while solving problems.
Some of the more important differences can be illustrated by observing groups of young teenage boys and groups of young teenage girls when they attempt to find their way out of a maze. A group of boys generally establish a hierarchy or chain of command with a leader who emerges on his own or through demonstrations of ability and power. Boys explore the maze using scouts while remaining in distant proximity to each other. Groups of girls tend to explore the maze together as a group without establishing a clear or dominant leader. Relationships tends to be co-equal. Girls tend to elicit discussion and employ "collective intelligence" to the task of discovering a way out. Girls tend to work their way through the maze as a group. Boys tend to search and explore using structured links and a chain of command.
While men and women can reach similar conclusions and make similar decisions, the process they use can be quit different and in some cases can lead to entirely different outcomes. In general, men and women consider and process information differently.
Women tend to be intuitive global thinkers. They consider multiple sources of information within a process that can be described as simultaneous, global in perspective and will view elements in the task in terms of their interconnectedness. Women come to understand and consider problems all at once. They take a broad or "collective" perspective, and they view elements in a task as interconnected and interdependent. Women are prone to become overwhelmed with complexities that "exist", or may exist, and may have difficulty separating their personal experience from problems.Men tend to focus on one problem at a time or a limited number of problems at a time. They have an enhanced ability to separate themselves from problems and minimize the complexity that may exist. Men come to understand and consider problems one piece at a time. They take a linear or sequential perspective, and view elements in a task as less interconnected and more independent. Men are prone to minimize and fail to appreciate subtleties that can be crucial to successful solutions. A male may work through a problem repeatedly, talking about the same thing over and over, rather than trying to address the the problem all at once.
While there are differences in the ways that men and women think, it must be emphasized that they can and do solve problems in a similar manner. There are no absolutes, only tendencies.
Women have an enhanced ability to recall memories that have strong emotional components. They can also recall events or experiences that have similar emotions in common. Women are very adept at recalling information, events or experiences in which there is a common emotional theme. Men tend to recall events using strategies that rely on reconstructing the experience in terms of elements, tasks or activities that took place. Profound experiences that are associated with competition or physical activities are more easily recalled. There appears to be a structural and chemical basis for observed memory differences. For instance, the hypocampus, the area in the brain primarily responsible for memory, reacts differently to testosterone in men and it reacts differently to changing levels of estrogen and progesterone in women. Women tend to remember or be reminded of different "emotional memories" and content to some extent as part of their menstrual cycle.
There is evidence to suggest that a great deal of the sensitivity that exists within men and women has a physiological basis. It has been observed that is many cases, women have an enhanced physical alarm response to danger or threat. Their autonomic and sympathetic systems have a lower threshold of arousal and greater reactivity than men. In both men and women, higher levels of testosterone directly affect the aggressive response and behavior centers of the brain. Increasing estrogen and progesterone in men has a "feminizing" effect. Sexually aggressive males become less focused on sexual aggressive behavior and content when they are given female hormones. On the other hand, changing estrogen and progesterone levels in women during menstrual cycles can produce a "flood" of memories as well as strong emotions. Increasing or high levels of testosterone can produce an emotional insensitivity, empathic block and increased indifference to the distress others.

At the heart of sensitivity is our capacity to form, appreciate and maintain relationships that are rewarding. Even here there are important differences. For men, what demonstrates a solid relationship is quit different from that of most women. Men feel closer and validated through shared activities. Such activities include sports, competition, outdoor activities or sexual activities that are decidedly active and physical. While both men and women can appreciate and engage in these activities they often have preferential differences. Women, on the other hand, feel closer and validated through communication, dialogue and intimate sharing of experience, emotional content and personal perspectives. Many men tend to find such sharing and involvement uncomfortable, if not, overwhelming.

The Task Of Relationship Facing Men and Women

The task that faces men and women is to learn to accept their differences, avoid taking their differences as personal attempts to frustrate each other, and to compromise whenever possible. The idea that one gender can think and feel like the other if they truly loved each is rather absurd. Sure, a man or women could act in consideration of the other’s needs, but this would not necessarily be rewarding and honest. Holding the benefit of another above our own is rewarding. But from time to time, and more often for most of us, it is important to be our self and to be accepted, and not to be the source of distress and disappointment in the lives of people we love. This ideally should be our goal.